Family of Haverhill stab victim Harley Barfield in bitter dispute with council over memorial bench

The family of Haverhill teenager Harley Barfield, who was stabbed to death in January, is embroiled in a row with West Suffolk Council over a memorial bench next to his grave.

They have been told by the council that the black bench, bearing a plaque saying ‘In loving memory of Harley Barfield, forever 16’, must be removed and replaced with one supplied by the council and leased to the family for an initial period of 10 years.

The council says the bench was installed in breach of its regulations and although it has now said that it can stay until a council-approved one is bought and ready to be installed, the family has vowed to ‘fight for it to remain’.

The family also feels it is ‘being held to ransom’ as it cannot have a headstone placed on the grave in Haverhill cemetery until the bench is removed.

They also say the council has relaxed its rules on other occasions, allowing other benches that should not be in the cemetery, to remain.

The bench was installed on March 19, Mother’s Day, having been bought from the almost £16,000 that was raised by the community through a GoFundMe page set up by Carol Long.

It was the first Mother’s Day that Harley’s mum, Bernice, had been through since her son was killed.

Bernice and Harley’s sister Destiny shared their feelings on the matter in a joint statement, saying: “Planning Harley's funeral was a very difficult and emotional time for us as a family, as anyone who has lost a loved one will know.

“We chose Harley's resting place with the assurance that a bench could be placed next to him, as this was important to us all, and to his friends.

“At such a difficult time, we were not in the place to read through pages of terms and conditions provided by West Suffolk Council and therefore purchased a bench with funds raised by the community in memory of Harley.

“My siblings and myself, spent hours making the bench perfect and placed the bench with Harley on Mother's Day - my mum's first Mother's Day without Harley.

“It allowed us to all spend the day together. I personally find great comfort sitting with Harley, as do many of his friends and other members of the community.

“We have received no compassion or understanding from the people in charge of the cemetery, nor have we been able to reach an agreement.

“All I hope is that the gesture of goodwill, which has been granted to other families whose loved ones are resting in the cemetery, is extended to us and Harley's bench will be able to remain.

“Our hearts are truly broken and being able to sit at Harley's resting place is the greatest source of comfort to us, and so many.”

Their point about the bench offering a great source of comfort to many, was backed up by the child and adolescent psychotherapist who has been providing counselling to a number of young people that witnessed Harley’s fatal stabbing in the Strasbourg Square car park.

In a letter to West Suffolk Council’s cemeteries manager, she said: “Harley’s bench is a place of comfort not only to his family but the many young people who knew Harley and have been traumatised by his death and the incident leading up to it, some of them witnessing what happened.

“The young people attending a trauma therapy group called Room4Harley have talked about how they visit Harley’s graveside and sit on the bench.

“They would be further traumatised if Harley’s bench was removed and such upset was not able to be resolved amicably. This would be yet another loss.”

West Suffolk Council had initially said the bench needed to be removed as soon as possible but said in a statement yesterday: “We will be speaking to the family and we will be supporting their request for a memorial bench. The existing bench will remain until it can be replaced.”

Bernice and the rest of Harley’s family has, however, rejected that offer – in part because a blue bench dedicated to NHS workers that worked through the Covid pandemic, and is also against regulations, has been allowed to be placed in the cemetery.

“We want Harley’s bench to stay and will fight on for that,” said Bernice. “I’ve still not come to terms with the fact that my boy has gone and they are making me fight over a wooden bench.”